Um fashion ?

I didn’t know if I wanted to categorise this as ‘Fashion’ or not, the word seems so arrogant to me, coming from me who is not an expert or specialise in this field in any way, just sort of admiring it.

Normally I would go ahead and think about how people would react to what I am about to post and say, when I haven’t even started, and I would get anxious and just pause whatever I was going to type, hence the lack of posts in the first half of the year, I guess I was just sort of scared in a way that my love for styling or reading would through some of my friends off. But I guess it’s 2017, I made a blog, I brought a domain, so I might as well get my bang for my buck and actually just go for it, so this is me going for it then.

I remember that I started watching YouTube videos around 14ish? (Year 8) At that time being a ‘youtuber’ wasn’t a common thing, I would try and explain to my friends what I am watching and no one would actually understand, but wow has time changed. Nowadays it’s literally every teenage girl’s dream job? (Don’t quote me on that I’m just jk) Bethany Mota was the first girl that I fell in love with (not in that way), and I would look forward to her videos and watch them before bed just to end my day in a happy mood.

Something I have noticed throughout the years of watching YouTube videos about myself is that I’ve never actually tended to watch those ‘get ready with me’ or ‘makeup haul’ videos, I would skip through those and just the clothing hauls. That’s sort of when I realised that I have no interest in the art of a person’s face but more of the art of dressing a personality.

I have to admit, looking back at my early wardrobe I would’ve thrown everything away, just because I have no basics. I tend to buy all the colourful statement pieces and zero blank canvas to work on, and that was hell. So I’ve learnt to style more, piece more clothing together to change up the outfits instead of having like 100 shirts and changing them up (total exaggeration btw). Another thing is that I tend to feel uncomfortable if I’m standing in a camera posing, some stuff to do with this anxiety of some sorts. I’ve wanted to be a model once (like come on 9 out of 10 guys probably wanted to be a model at some point of their lives) but that dream collapsed once I stopped growing. I’m 5 feet and not even close to the average height of models so there goes that dream. Ever since I felt like there was this sense of ‘not qualified’ for posing, and I can’t seem to get through the barricade.  Like taking selfies with a mirror is fine, but when the camera is in someone else’s hands, my heart just breaks a little inside.

With that said, I’ve learnt to wear confidence as part of my style as well, when I put pieces together that wouldn’t have seemed to fit, add a little confidence and it’s like you know what you are doing when you’re walking down the streets. Don’t ever dress up for anyone. That’s one thing that I never really could understand. Why dress for anyone? Why let anyone say you shouldn’t be wearing a mesh top that shows skin when you just want to wear a mesh top because it makes you happy? It’s your fucking body. If the body is yours and the mesh top is yours then I don’t see why not.

Oh shit, now I’m just on a rant and probably have gotten lost in this whole post, and now I’m just feeling anxious again. So I guess, I’ll just through in a couple of my fav outfits that have been great for uni (comfy is always a plus) and wrap this up and post it before my nerves get the best of me.


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